I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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