Rock
Scissors
Fuck
where am i from again
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
