i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
