I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
