This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
