ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just cropdusted the office
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
