elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
