how can u be prego again
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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