how can u be prego again
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
