this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
