so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize