So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
