I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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