nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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