It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
