If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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