I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
