Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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