im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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