Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
