My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
