On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
