Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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