my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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