No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
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Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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