some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
