Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
