Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
