Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
