Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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