ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
