First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
