where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
