Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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