dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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