I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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