I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
