Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
