is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
