belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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