I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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