I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
