My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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