I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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