wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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