i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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