I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
