I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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