She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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