You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
