it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
