tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
