She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
