who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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