Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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