Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I said "one day" and that day is not today
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
