I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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