I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
