Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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