drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
