So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
