is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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