Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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