Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
