This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wear drunk well.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
