imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found puke in my bra..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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