i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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