my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
